This bones

Covered with tremulous flesh

Yelling so many names

Crawling the floors

Breaking the glasses against the walls

So many houses and souls 

And yet I learnt nothing

Each day weighs like a mountain stone

In the mornings I laughed and cried 

I pissed and fucked

I ate and I fed 

I fatten my thighs 

Bacon and eggs

I listened to my mother 

Forcing me to finish breakfast

To hurry 

Running to school

Always late 

Shuffling my feet to the slaughterhouse 

Wasting time

Smoking at 8:30 with my friend

Giving head behind a bush at 14:30 

After school

Before returning home for lunch

Sundays at church

Kneeling down in front of a plastic God

Counting the tears of the old ladies 

The rancid smell of saliva around their tights lips

Pressing against them a crucifix 

Unable now to smile

My first morning alone

Far from home

The beds of all my lovers

Sheets whiter than the pall

Covering the coffins of our unborn sons

Reading under the duvets until 6 am

The loyal lantern

The days of feverish dreams

Coughing my lungs out

The days of shouting invisible names

Mornings with my siblings to combat the fear 

With my parents to fight the innocent aversion of loneliness

Waking up by their side 

Kindness granted 

Love delivered 

All the mornings I have lived 

And I have learnt nothing

I wake up by your side

And all I can do is thinking about all the mornings

I will wake up without you 


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